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The pain of separation. May 3, 2010

Posted by phoenixaeon in Downstairs, The Principessa Files, Uncategorized.

This morning, the first lot of stuff went from my bedroom now to the new room downstairs. While this is positive movement, it’s fixed in my head the anxiety that Princi is feeling about the move.

“Mummy, where’s that thing gone?” (meaning the CD rack)

“Uncle Gareth has taken it downstairs.”


“To put in my new bedroom.”

“But I don’t want it to go down there, I don’t want to be lonely.”

Eeks! She really doesn’t want this move to happen. Let me explain why. The whole of her life she has shared my room with me. Her bed is opposite mine, so that whenever she has needed extra comfort she only has to stomp (because she doesn’t know how to tippy-toe) across the room to me. When I finally move, there will be the physical barrier or the stairs. Now, the stairs are not the problem for Princi – she has been able to thump up and down the stairs since she was two and a half – rather, she has suddenly become very afraid of going downstairs at nighttime. She’s also afraid of doing most things at nighttime, including sleep. It’s finally dawning on me why this might be. Talk about me being dense!

When Gaz started taking the books downstairs, Princi ran into the room and nearly knocked him over. Of course, he told her to stay out of the way and this upset her.

“I have no friends anymore. Everyone is leaving me on my own.”

Yep. There it was. It’s change. She doesn’t want it. How could I have been so blind? That is why she has needed so much reassurance lately about where people are in relation to her geographical location. I have to tell her where I am (even though she can see and hear me!), where Nanny and Grandand are, where Uncle Gareth is (in the house next door), and where Aunty Lindsay, Aunty Kirsty and Uncle Jamie are (about a mile down the road). Despite being excited that she’s going to have her own room soon, she doesn’t want me not to be in it! My poor little babs.  We’ve been talking about it for so long – well, it must seem like that for Princi – that she probably thought it wasn’t going to happen. Ever.

Oh – here she is. Hang on a tick…

Aha! I have just found something that makes her feel a bit more comfortable with it all. She would feel happier in her own room if she could have a picture of Doctor Who on her wall.

“But it has to be the new Doctor Who. The Matt Smith Doctor Who!”

Fine. Matt Smith Doctor Who it is then. But until then, there’ll be lots of hugs and reassurance and fluffy, light-up teddy bears.



1. dadwhowrites - May 12, 2010

Poor Princi – but its interesting how they’ve (dudelet has too) taken to the new Doctor Who. He’s also put a poster of him up.

Am sure she’ll appreciate the extra space a capacity to utterly own it eventually…

phoenixaeon - May 12, 2010

I can only hope. Otherwise, I’ll have a limpet in my bedroom! I’m sure she’ll take to having her own space once the bedroom is set up for her.

As for the Doctor, she loves him. You know what I think it is? The food scene in The Eleventh Hour. Princi has right belly laughs every time she watches that scene.

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