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The lies we tell and other things, including bad language in Wreck This Journal. January 23, 2012

Posted by phoenixaeon in A330, Art, bedtime, Fibs, OU, Parenting, Pirate Penguin, WTJ.

Last night was horrible. Picture the scene: after hassling Princi with a barrage of ‘time for bed now,’ and ‘get changed into some PJs, please,’ she had finally taken the hint that it was bedtime. Disgruntled, she crawled under her duvet and scrummaged around the bed zoo for Pirate Penguin. Happy upon finding him, she started to snuggle down into bed until…


MISSING! Ninja Chicken.

Uh-oh! Ninja Chicken. I’d not seen that blue chicken with a yellow bandana across his eyes for days. Grandand and I did what we could, looked under the bed, in the drawers, behind the curtains. Ninja Chicken was nowhere to be found. And then the waterworks burst…

“I’LL NEVER BE ABLE TO SLEEP WITHOUT HIM!” (You have been for the last three nights, at least!)

“HE’LL BE LONELY WITHOUT PIRATE PENGUIN!” (Then maybe you should have looked after him better.)


And then it clicked.

“Princi, don’t cry. Ninja Chicken is just at a ninja convention.”

The tears stop.  A suspicious and questioning look creeps across her soggy face.

“So he’s with Ninja Squid, then?”



“Well, it’ll be like a first meeting then, won’t it.”

“Yes, and he’ll be back soon. How long will he be gone?”

“I don’t know. As long as a ninja convention takes, I suppose.”

“Oh, OK.”

And that was that. Princi climbed back into bed, gathered up Pirate Penguin and my old Snoopy, and happily began reading Emily Gravett’s Little Mouse’s Big Book of Fears to them.

And this demonstrates my lie. Instead of being lost, I took my pointers from the comic book. The only time Pirate Penguin couldn’t have a bed-time story was when Ninja Chicken was at a Ninja convention. I am so glad I listened to Princi during the numerous times she’s sat and read aloud Troublems with Frenemies.

Anyway. The wayward Ninja Chicken has now been found – he’d made himself a roost – or should that be a Ninja hidey-hole? – behind Nanny’s television set. I was so worried that I’d be facing a deluge when Princi got home from school today, as the bedroom had been tidied as a by-product of the epic search for a blue chicken. Phew! Deluge, denied!

As for Wreck This Journal. Well. I haven’t managed much recently as my head has been battered by the last TMA for the mythology course. But the essay is done and submitted – although I did submit defeat with it, it’s definitely not one of my better essays – so in between reading sections for the next block of study I have managed to do a couple of pages. The first one with a bit of help from a lovely Japanese take-away meal.

Document your dinner.

The noodly ‘n’ isn’t easy to see on this photo, but it is there. I also don’t know why the selotape has degraded the ink from the receipt, but it has. The second page, a double spread, comes in two parts, the second containing bad language, so if there are any little’uns about, best cover their eyes now!

Part one. The four-letter words are hidden, simply because Princi likes to look through the journal. She is under strict orders not to open the envelope.

Part 2. With the four-letter words.

I’m glad I worked out a way to do this page, but to be able to censor it too. I did ask Princi to tell me what bad words she knew and she was very worried that she’d get told off if she told me. But she did whisper them to me in the end – all three of them, and one of those I wouldn’t consider being a real naughty word – and I made a shocked face, just so she knew she wouldn’t get into trouble.

I’m off now to get ready to return a missing chicken to a cheeky seven year old.



1. Dad Who Writes (Gabriel) - January 27, 2012

Ooh! Four-letter words! And journalling! And escaped chickens! I’ve missed so much drama. All I’ve been doing is sobbing about real estate and moaning about not being able to finish my novel.

The Four Letter Page, though, is a thing of beauty in its own right.

phoenixaeon - January 27, 2012

You’re still closer to finishing your novel than I am mine. Last time I worked on anything with words that wasn’t a blog or an essay was about two years ago. So, journalling – that’s how I’m hoping to free the Muse from captivity. The only problem now is I’m thinking in pictures, rather than words. But then, a picture says a thousand words, so I’ve been told!

Hope the house buying is starting to look up. It’s something I’ve never experienced, as I’ve never bought a house. And besides, you’ve made it look too stressful!

2. xlalalalisax - January 27, 2012

Hello 🙂 I hope you don’t mind me randomly dropping by your blog – I’m in search of fellow Wreckers!! I bought my WTJ about a month ago and I’ve just started blogging about it, and I love seeing what other people come up with!

I love your four-letter words page, that’s a really clever idea!! I’ve got some ideas for mine, but now I wish I’d thought of that one!! 😉

I’m jealous of your food page…mine is so disgusting, I don’t know if I’ll ever show anyone! I thought it would be fun to put spaghetti and sauce on the page. Bad bad idea. It’s all leaked through to other pages, and it smells BAD. I’m going to have to do some serious cover up to sort that one out!

I look forward to seeing what other ideas you have 🙂 x

phoenixaeon - January 27, 2012

Hi there 🙂 Nice to meet you!

Of course I don’t mind you popping up 🙂 the more the merrier, I say! Thanks for the lovely compliment about my WTJ efforts so far. As for the food page, that one took a lot of me letting go of my own obsessive behaviour in not putting food in books! I still didn’t put the food directly onto the page, but the ginger still seeped through a number of pages. Looking forward to doing more once I’ve finished the reading for my myths course. I also look forward to having a look at your WTJ pages, though I’m glad there’s no smellovision if it smells as bad as you say!

xlalalalisax - January 27, 2012

I’m definitely glad there’s no smellovision!! I think the smell might just be stuck in my nose now, because there are times when I think I can smell it and it’s nowhere near!

I don’t know about you, but I’ve found WTJ to be kind of freeing…cracking the spine and putting food and drinks on my book…I would never do that normally, but it helps to ‘unleash my creativity’ or something less sappy-sounding! 🙂

phoenixaeon - January 27, 2012

Yeah, I have found it a little freeing to some degree… But then, I’ve been given permission to kill this book. I still couldn’t imagine writing on a normal book. I looked at my cousin in envy this afternoon as she happily underlined bits in her copy of Metamorphoses. It makes me grrr, argh, that the corners of my copy are slightly dinged.

Pristine-looking books – loved or not? It’s almost like they’re a show house that’s never been lived in, but I know different!

xlalalalisax - January 28, 2012

I know exactly what you mean!!! I never wanted to write in my school/college books…but that meant I got to use colourful post-its instead, so it’s all good 🙂

You’ve now got me thinking. Why do we keep our books so pristine anyway?? When I’ve finished with mine, they either go back on my shelf or get given away to friends/family or charity. So I don’t know why I’m so overprotective of them!

3. johnhughes21 - January 25, 2012

Ninja Chicken? You should get her Robot Chicken!

Oh and as for 4-letter words: you forgot ‘cook’ ‘wash’ and ‘iron’ 😀 (hides from angry feminists)

Anyway …

Happy new year! How’s the course going? You always make me laugh when you say how rubbish your last essay was, then two weeks later, ‘wow, I can’t believe I got 98%’ I bet this one will be another surprisingly huge score too.

phoenixaeon - January 25, 2012

I really hope so. I struggled as it was more history than literature on the last essay. Preferring the reading for this block, as it’s more literature based. And for the record, I’ve only ever scored a 98%-er once :p Other than that, the course isn’t going too badly (she says, without knowing the result of TMA03. At least another week to wait for that, yet).

How’s the writing going?

johnhughes21 - January 25, 2012

Not great to be honest. I’m getting back into it now that I’ve finally finished all of Buffy and Angel. Now if I can just stop watching TV, browsing the internet and playing computer games I might get round to finishing my book 😉

4. Pip - January 23, 2012

Hehe, what words did she know?

phoenixaeon - January 23, 2012

Shit, crap, and the f-word!

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